


Extreme Measures

by SaraJaye



Category: Rocko's Modern Life
Genre: Gen, Inappropriate Humor, Knives, Marital Problems, Revenge, Withholding Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22201915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: Bev Bighead's had enough of her husband's bullshit.
Relationships: Beverly Bighead/Edward Bighead
Kudos: 4
Collections: The 100 Multifandom Challenge





	Extreme Measures

**Author's Note:**

> 3 - cleave

"Fine, be that way!" Bev watched her husband stomp off to the couch. Most women had to force their husbands to sleep there, but Ed would do it on his own just to get away from her. All because she gave him some perfectly good advice and told him to stop kicking Rocko's dog and put up a fence around the salmon bushes.

Really, sometimes Ed was such a pain in the ass she didn't know how she put up with him. Worse, tomorrow he was going to come back up to the bedroom and cuddle up to her like nothing happened. Even if she could freeze him out just a bit longer like she always did, this time she had to get the message across that you didn't fuck with Bev Bighead no matter how much she loved you.

"I always knew it'd come to this." She grabbed a big shiny knife from under the bed, watching the blade gleam in the moonlight. "Sorry, Ed, but you had it coming."

She brought the blade down and cleaved the bed straight down the middle. It pained her to ruin a perfectly good mattress, but they could just get another one. And another bed.

Then, she pulled out a length of chain link and nailed it up along the middle.

"If you're not gonna put up a fence around the salmon bushes, I'm putting one up around me, and you're not getting any till you realize I'm right!"

She slept peacefully that night. She'd almost forgotten how nice it was not to have to listen to Ed's snoring.


End file.
